health has been failing me and i dislike the feeling of it.It was not easy to keep yourself perky when you feel weak in spirit. At this moment of time, my human fresh will lament and groan and i am so used to wallow in self pity. Nevertheless, i consciously try to remind myself that " i am healed in the lord."
I am feeling a bit down but not down exactly...partly...just the sickness just dampen my spirit. I try to be strong admist the whole series of thin gs that are upon my shoulders.not major issues though, if you give a second thought about it.Took a half day off and dragged myself back home in that super scorching weather ...my head spinned yet i have to make my way back. i asked the lord:"what do you ahve for me in my life?"
Planning marriage, taking on more responsbilities at work...but somehow human can never feel satisfied...i feel a lack..probably in my spiritual life.I always wanted to serve the lord. I ofetn ask "god what do you have for me in my life? what is your will and plan for me?" "is my calling in teaching?"I think i have not been talking to you lately. i put work in priority,i put all my worries above you recently. i realised i have not been talking to you sufficiently which explains why i am feeling abit empty now. I realised my deep and secure relationship with you is my biggest joy in my life. Nothing more but just resting in you and enjoying that peace and joy.
I ahve been caught by work,shelfing my personal time with you.How important is that i realise?Reading Frances' entry encouraged me. When was the last time i have prayed and relied so hard on you? I remember the feeling. It was rejuvenating,rejoicing even though the process was tough. I yearn to expereince it again
A thought came to my mind.MISSION TRIP. Lord, i have a desire for along time and i pray that you will put me on one where i will bless the people i came upon. i did not know the thought came popping up to me. i looked at the work nature now. it did not seemed possible and lord ,you know my heartmost desire, to teach your words to children, to serve in your ministry. I always wonder and pray that you will open my eyes to my gifts. I see the process now as a path towards a greater mission you have for me. i know one day, you will lay it out for me and i do not need to worry about tommorow.
I love what i am doing now. I thank you. But most importantly each day, i want to know i am glorifying you.work has not allowed me to worshipp you on SUnday . But i believe you will bless me with greater things. i want to keep close to you and submit my prayers to you.
I pray that will be gentle in my heart, slow in wrath and anger and be a good listener.
Open my heart and my communcaition to be patient
No comments:
Post a Comment